


The Adam-alike

by Fairleigh



Category: Girls (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Crossover, First Meetings, M/M, Narcissism, On BOTH SIDES, Self-cest, Sexual Humor, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-07 06:07:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17360465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairleigh/pseuds/Fairleigh
Summary: He nearly passed out when a masked man swathed in a black hooded cloak walked off his television screen and into his apartment. And he may have shrieked like a girl when the masked man drew a scary red laser sword on him and held it threateningly close to his throat, but he wasn’t sure yet if he wanted to admit that to his adoring public.





	The Adam-alike

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lucymonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucymonster/gifts).



His free trial subscription to the STARZ premium cable channel was due to run out this week.

Adam had therefore decided he would spend the whole day watching a scheduled Outlander marathon. Except that it turned out to be less marathon than snooze-fest, with boring pseudo-historical set pieces, overrated acting, and the occasional softcore porn scene that was almost worth Adam sticking a hand down his boxers for.

Almost. But not quite. With the right sort of company, though, it might just’ve been worth it.

He was more than half-asleep when the bright, brassy blare of classic John Williams theme music compelled him to crack one eye open. Was that a new trailer? Oh yeah, Disney was rebooting _that_ franchise now too, weren’t they?

 _Good actors slumming it for fame and filthy lucre_ , Adam thought with a prestigious acting school graduate’s earned snobbery. _Hmm. Maybe I should get my ass off the couch and go practice my lines …_

He nearly passed out when a masked man swathed in a black hooded cloak walked off his television screen and into his apartment. And he may have shrieked like a girl when the masked man drew a scary red laser sword on him and held it threateningly close to his throat, but he wasn’t sure yet if he wanted to admit that to his adoring public.

“Is this some kind of joke?” the masked man asked. His voice was strangely distorted and difficult to understand.

“Um, no?” Adam squeaked.

“Are you a clone?”

“Um, no?” Well, Mom and Dad had certainly never given him a reason to think so!

The masked man said something else. This time, Adam failed to understand the words being spoken entirely.

“Um, come again?”

The scary red laser sword looked like it was about to core Adam’s Adam’s apple. Adam tried to scoot out of range and realized he was paralyzed.

But he could still talk. “No! I mean, that mask, it, uh, it makes it kinda hard to, uh … ”

The masked man made a sound that was recognizable as disgust and removed his helmet. And he looked … no shit, _he looked_ …

“You look just like me!” Adam mumbled.

The Adam-alike said nothing in reply, but he obviously agreed with Adam’s assessment. Adam could tell that from the expression on his face, since it was a face Adam knew intimately from countless practice hours pulling faces in front of the mirror. Besides, what more, really, was there to say?

Actually, Adam could think of only one other thing. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

The Adam-alike also agreed with this assessment. He also removed his scary red laser sword from the immediate vicinity of Adam’s throat and disappeared it beneath the folds of his cloak. Finally.

“I’m Kylo Ren,” the Adam-alike who called himself ‘Kylo Ren’ said.

“Hi. I’m Adam,” Adam said. Ah, seemed he could move again. He gestured at the television. “Wanna marathon Outlander with me? The porn’s not bad.”

It was to be the beginning of a beautiful — and supremely satisfying — friendship. Mutual masturbation may have been involved.


End file.
